Having Been Adopted...

... and how I feel about it now, over 50 years later. Regardless of how I might have felt at the time, what I might have wanted or even what might have been better for me in the long run, my future appears to have been neatly arranged for me by complete strangers well before I was even born. Or was it?

Saturday, June 23, 2007

OBC means Original Birth Certificate...

... and I don't have one. That is, I do - but it's sealed in Sacramento and - by law - I am not allowed to have it. What I do have is an AMENDED birth certificate and nearly everything on it is false. It doesn't even look like a real birth certificate. I wonder if my birth-date is a lie... hmmm - that would mean that my natal chart is all wrong, too - but that might actually explain a few things.

What a crummy and creepy and totally UNFAIR law. I want my original birth certificate. It's mine and I want what's rightfully and morally mine. Maybe my mother (Nancee) named me and if she did I'd really like to know what name she chose for me - I really, really would. Really. That document is not, as too many people seem to think "... just a piece of paper." The last time I heard that it was from the mouth of a PAP. Actually, it was from the keyboard of a PAP but it amounts to the same thing. (PAP is adoption-speak for prospective adoptive parent.) What an insensitive, outrageously insulting and demeaning thing to say to an adoptee. "Just a piece of paper..." indeed. Just one more erasure of identity.

I should have started this particular leg of my journey years ago, before my father died. As an attorney he knew judges - and a judge will have to be the one to grant me access to my OBC. Hmmm… now let me think. Who do I know of my dad's friends and colleagues who are A): still alive... B): still on the bench... and C): adoptee-friendly. Wow - that's a tough one. I don't think there's anyone - not anymore.

But in any case - why should I be reduced to even thinking about pulling strings or asking for favors when everyone else who was born in this country but who was NOT adopted can get their own - their one and only - birth certificate?? WHY am I denied this? To protect me? FROM WHAT? FROM WHOM? I know all the names that should be on it anyway - except mine. Everyone who could possibly be "hurt" by my having my Original Birth Certificate is now dead - except me.

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