~ The First Anniversary ~

One year ago today, my mother died. My other mother, my second mother, the only mother I ever knew… the one I called "Mommy" - and still do.

I lit four white votive candles this morning and said quietly, "For you, Mommy..." and I felt my eyes get hot and the tears spilled.

I called my sister to see how she was doing... she'd taken a rare sick day from work and was at home - and was doing just so-so.

I have not felt my mom's presence at all in the past year - not the way I felt my dad still lingering and watching over me... not the way I've felt my first mother's presence and guidance ever since I can remember... my mom is just --- gone.

Gone. But not ever forgotten.