Having Been Adopted...

... and how I feel about it now, over 50 years later. Regardless of how I might have felt at the time, what I might have wanted or even what might have been better for me in the long run, my future appears to have been neatly arranged for me by complete strangers well before I was even born. Or was it?

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

An explanation of what's to come ~


I have mixed opinions… as well as mixed emotions… about adoption.

What follows will contain vents and rants - as well as raves - about what I think and how I feel about adoption in general and specifically how I feel about having been adopted myself… when I was four days old, I was taken from the Temple Hospital nursery in Los Angeles by people who were, until that day, total strangers to me.

Also following will be what I think, what I know and what I thought I knew - and the truths, the untruths and everything in-between.

It will be about families and about how I feel about mine - all of them - how strangers became my family and my family became the strangers - and then all were reunited to become a family once again.

It will be about my mom and my dad, who were the only parents I ever knew.

It will be about Nancee, my natural mother, whom I never even met... and how I feel about being what I now know was her L.A. secret.

It will be about what I still want and need to find out and the different paths I've taken in order to unravel and make sense of a very complicated and tragic past.

This is a journey that never seems to end.

6 Comments:

At August 21, 2005 9:20 AM, Blogger warriorwoman said...

I'm looking forward to hearing more...it's got to be strange to be removed from family and placed in a situation where people think the replacements are the same as the real thing. This is particularly important for people to think about - today people are being encouraged to "donate" not only their own sons and daughters but also the raw materials to make them. They are being called "heros" for doing so. And somebody is making a lot of money brokering these "deals".

 
At December 01, 2005 7:20 PM, Blogger RACHEL said...

where to start... first of all i am sorry that you had such a painful experience. i, myself, have adopted two of my three children from a korean orphanage. i agree someone is making a lot of money from adoptions, but what future would my children have had living out there lives in an orphanage until they "aged out" it was a sacrifice for us to come up with those fees for we are not wealthy, but because i fell in love with my kids and would do anything for them we made that sacrifice. not all adoptive parents are evil as some would lead others to believe. these children ARE my children. i am not a stranger, i am their mommy.

 
At January 12, 2006 8:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was adopted and my Parents are my parents and always will be, because the definition of a parent is someone who cares enough to be with you and look after you. A parent does give birth to you then not want any contact.

Be grateful for what you did have. You had a family who loved you very much and treated you as their own. What would have become of you if you had stayed with your birthmother? Obviously she couldn't have looked after you, yuo would have been worse off with her.

 
At May 20, 2006 2:06 PM, Blogger kim.kim said...

Oh urgh that horrid person telling you to be grateful and why do people have to get angry at you? It's so ridiculous. You are just telling the truth.
I am going to add your blog to my links, you write beautifully. What a wonderful blog.

 
At June 01, 2006 8:22 PM, Anonymous char said...

I don't understand how or why you would call your adoptive parents "strangers" when you were taken home after only 4 days. What is a parent to you??? Is it the person that gave birth to you X amount of years ago. (9 months of pregnancy and 4 days) or the people who raised you... put a bandaid on your scrapes, the people that held you and dried your tears or hugged you for a congratulations. Come on 9 months and 4 days is nothing compared to a life time of love and support. The only explanation I could possible understand about this story is if your adoptive parents abused you or neglected you... YOU SHOULD APPRECIATE WHAT YOU HAVE Is that so wrong to say. Stop living in the (few second)past and appreciate what you have or had (years) now?? I think it is great advise. It's not ridulous to let someone see the other side of something. She isn't the only person in the world who lived through this and some people do see it differently. Let others speak. That is what I assume "leave your comment" is for....

 
At June 02, 2006 8:49 PM, Blogger Deborah ~ said...

Dear Char,

Thank you for your comments. However - I would like to ask that you read my introductory post again but this time read it very carefully. It is not meant to be edited or read line by line, but taken as a whole. I also invite you to read further - check out my book list and please read my other posts (http://unnamed-infant-hopkins.blogspot.com/)
before getting out your weaponry and launching your next attack.

Your comments to me and to another reader seemed both unkind and not well thought out. As well, it was cowardly since you did not leave a way to respond to you privately. Nevertheless, I thank you for the time you took to post. You have every right to feel as you do and to express yourself - hopefully without fear of judgment or attack - as do I.

Sincerely,
Deborah~

 

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